1)
GIVE ME THE GIFT OF A GRIP-TOP SOCK, A CLIP
DRAPE SHIPSHAPE TIP TOP SOCK. NOT YOUR SPINSLICK SLAPSTICK SLIPSHOD STOCK, BUT
A PLASTIC, ELASTIC GRIP-TOP SOCK. NONE OF YOUR FANTASTIC SLACK SWAP SLOP FROM A
SLAP DASH FLASH CASH HABERDASH SHOP. NOT A KNICK KNACK KNITLOCK KNOCKNEED
KNICKERBOCKER SOCK WITH A MOCK-SHOT-BLOB-MOTTLED TRICK-TICKER TOP CLOCK. NOT A
SUPERSHEET SEERSUCKER RUCKSACK SOCK, NOT A SPOT-SPECKELED FROG-FRECKLED CHEAP
SHEIK´S SOCK OFF A HODGEPODGE MOSS-BLOTCHED SCOTCH-BOTCHED BLOCK. NOTHING SLIPSHOD
DRIP DROP FLIP FLOP OR GLIP GLOP TIP ME A TIP TOP GRIP TOP SOCK.
2)
THE DOGE DID WHAT A DOGE DOES, WHEN A DOGE DOES
HIS DUTY TO A DUKE, THAT IS. WHEN THE DOGE DID HIS DOGE DID HIS DUTY AND THE
DUKE DIDN´T, THAT´S WHEN THE DUCHESS DID THE DIRT TO THE DUKE WITH THE DOGE.
THERE THEY WERE IN THE DARK: THE DUKE WITH HIS DAGGER, THE DOGE WITH HIS DART
AND THE DUCHESS WITH HER DIRK. THE DUCHESS DUG AT THE DUKE JUST WHEN THE DUKE
DOVE AT THE DOGE. NOW THE DUKE DUCKED, THE DOGE DODGED, AND THE DUCHESS DIDN´T.
SO THE DUKE GOT THE DUCHESS, THE DUCHESS GOT THE DOGE, AND THE DOGE GOT THE
DUKE.
3)
I BOUGHT A BIT OF BAKING POWDER AND BAKED A
BATCH OF BISCUITS. I BROUGHT A BIG BASKET OF BISCUITS BACK TO THE BAKERY AND
BAKED A BASKET OF BIG BISCUITS. THEN I TOOK THE BIG BASKET OF BISCUITS AND THE
BASKET OF BIG BISCUITS AND MIXED THE BIG BISCUITS WITH THE BASKET OF BISCUITS
THAT WAS NEXT TO THE BIG BASKET AND PUT A BUNCH OF BISCUITS FROM THE BASKET
INTO A BISCUIT MIXER AND BROUGHT THE BASKET OF BISCUITS AND THE BOX OF MIXED BISCUITS
AND THE BISCUIT MIXER TO THE BAKERY AND OPENED A TIN OF SARDINES.
4)
OUT IN THE PASTURE THE NATURE WATCHER WATCHES
THE CATCHER. WHILE THE CATCHER WATCHES THE PITCHER WHO PITCHES THE BALLS.
WHETHER THE TEMPERATURE´S UP OR WHETHER THE TEMPERATURE´S DOWN, THE NATURE
WATCHER, THE CATCHER AND THE PITCHER ARE ALWAYS AROUND. THE PITCHER PITCHES,
THE CATCHER CATCHES AND THE WATCHER WATCHES. SO WHETHER THE TEMPERATURE´S RISES
OR WHETHER THE TEMPERATURE FALLS THE NATURE WATCHER JUST WATCHES THE CATCHER
WHO´S WATCHING THE PITCHER WHO´S WATCHING THE BALLS.
5)
THIS IS A STORY ABOUT FOUR PEOPLE NAMED
EVERYBODY, SOMEBODY, ANYBODY AND NOBODY. THERE WAS AN IMPORTANT JOB TO BE DONE
AND EVERYBODY WAS SURE THAT SOMEBODY WOULD DO IT. ANYBODY COULD HAVE DONE IT,
BUT NOBODY DID IT. SOMEBODY GOT ANGRY ABOUT THAT, BECAUSE IT WAS EVERYBODY´S
JOB. EVERYBODY THOUGHT ANYBODY COULD DO IT, BUT NOBODY REALISED THAT EVERYBODY
WOULDN´T DO IT. IT ENDED UP THAT EVERYBODY BLAMED SOMEBODY, WHEN NOBODY DID,
WHAT ANYBODY COULD HAVE DONE.
6)
IF THE LABEL ON THE CABLE ON THE TABLE AT YOUR
HOUSE, SAYS THE NETWORK IS CONNECTED TO THE BUTTON ON YOUR MOUSE, BUT YOUR
PACKETS WANT TO TUNNEL ON ANOTHER PROTOCOL, THAT´S REPEATEDLY REJECTED BY THE
PRINTER DOWN THE HALL, AND YOUR SCREEN IS ALL DISTORTED BY THE SIDE EFFECTS OF
GAUSS, SO YOUR ICONS IN THE WINDOW ARE AS WAVY AS A SOUSE, THEN YOU MAY AS WELL
REBOOT AND GO OUT WITH A BANG, ´CAUSE AS SURE AS I´M A POET, THE SUCKER´S GONNA
HANG!
7)
A TREE TOAD LOVED A SHE-TOAD, WHO LIVED UP IN A
TREE. HE WAS A THREE-TOED TREE TOAD, BUT A TWO-TOED TOAD WAS SHE. THE
THREE-TOED TREE TOAD TRIED TO WIN, THE TWO- TOED SHE TOAD´S HEART, FOR THE
THREE-TOED TREE TOAD LOVED THE GROUND. THAT THE TWO-TOED TREE TOAD TROD. BUT
THE THREE-TOED TREE TOAD TRIED IN VAIN. HE COULDN´T PLEASE HER WHIM. FROM HER TREE
TOAD BOWER, WITH HER TWO-TOED POWER, THE SHE TOAD VETOED HIM.
8)
FEELING FOOTLOOSE, FANCY-FREE AND FRISKY, THIS
FEATHER-BRAINED FELLOW FINAGLED HIS FOND FATHER INTO FORKING OVER HIS FORTUNE.
FORTHWITH, HE FLED FOR FOREIGN FIELDS AND FRITTERED HIS FARTHINGS FEATSING
FABULOUSLY WITH FAIR-WEATHER FRIENDS. FINALLY, FLEECED BY THOSE FOLLY FILLED
FELLOWS AND FACING FAMINE, HE FOUND HIMSELF A FEED FLINGER IN A FILTHY
FARM-LOT. HE FAIN WOULD HAVE FILLED HIS FRAME WITH FORAGED FOOD FROM FODDER FRAGMENTS.
9)
VOILÀ! IN VIEW, A HUMBLE VAUDEVILLIAN VETERAN,
CAST VICARIOUSLY AS BOTH VICTIM AND VILLAIN BY THE VICISSITUDES OF FATE. THIS
VISAGE, NO MERE VENEER OF VANITY, IS A VESTIGE OF THE VOX POPULI, NOW VACANT,
VANISHED. HOWEVER, THIS VALOROUS VISITATION OF A BY-GONE VEXATION, STANDS
VIVIFIED AND HAS VOWED TO VANQUISH THESE VENAL AND VIRULENT VERMIN VANGUARDING
VICE AND VOUCHSAFING THE VIOLENTLY VICIOUS AND VORACIOUS VIOLATION OF VOLITION.
10) THEOPHILUS THADEUS THISTLEDOWN, THE SUCCESFUL THISTLE-SIFTER, WHILE SIFTING A SIEVEFULL OF UNSIFTED THISTLES, THRUST THREE THOUSAND THISTLES THROUGH THE THICK OF HIS THUMB. NOW, THEOPHILUS THADEUS THISTLEDOWN, THE SUCCESFUL THISTLE-SIFTER, THRUST THREE THOUSAND THISTLES THROUGH THE THICK OF HIS THUMBS, SEE THAT THOU, WHILE SIFTING A SIEVE-FULL OF UNSIFTED THISTLES, THRUST NOT THREE THOUSAND THISTLES THROUGH THE THICK OF THY THUMB.
