1) IN VIEW, A HUMBLE VAUDEVILLIAN VETERAN, CAST VICARIOUSLY AS BOTH VICTIM AND VILLAIN BY THE VICISSITUDES OF FATE. THIS VISAGE, NO MERE VEENER OF VANITY, IS A VESTIGE OF THE VOX POPULI, NOW VACANT, VANISHED. HOWEVER, THIS VALOROUS VISITATION OF A BY-GONE VEXATION, STANDS VIVIFIED AND HAS VOWED TO VANQUISH THESE VENAL AND VIRULENT VERMIN VANGUARDING VICE AND VOUCHSAFING THE VIOLENTLY VICIOUS AND VORACIOUS VIOLATION OF VOLITION.
2) IF THE LABEL ON THE CABLE ON THE TABLE AT
YOUR HOUSE, SAYS THE NETWORK IS CONNECTED TO THE BUTTON ON YOUR MOUSE, BUT YOUR
PACKETS WANT TO TUNNEL ON ANOTHER PROTOCOL. THAT´S REPEATEDLY REJECTED BY THE
PRINTER DOWN THE HALL, AND YOUR SCREEN IS ALL DISTORTED BY THE SIDE EFFECTS OF
GAUSS. SO YOUR ICONS IN THE WINDOW ARE AS WAVY AS A SOUSE. THEN YOU MAY AS WELL
REBOOT AND GO OUT WITH A BANG, BECAUSE AS SURE AS I´M A POET, THE SUCKER´S
GONNA HANG!
3) KEN CAN KEN THAT KEN´S KIN CAN KEN KEN´S
KIN´S KEN. KING THISTLE STUCK A THOUSAND THISTLES IN THE THISTLES IN THE
THISTLE OF HIS THUMB. A THOUSAND THISTLES KING THISTLE STUCK IN THE THISTLE OF
HIS THUMB. IF KING THISTLE STUCK A THOUSAND THISTLES IN THE THISTLE OF HIS
THUMB, HOW MANY THISTLES DID KING THISTLE STICK IN THE THISTLE OF HIS THUMB?
4) SOMETHING IN A THIRTY-ACRE THERMAL THICKET
OF THORNS AND THISTLES THUMPED AND THUNDERED THREATENING THE THREE-D THOUGHTS
OF MATTHEW THE THUG, ALTHOUGH, THEATRICALLY, IT WAS ONLY THE THIRTEEN-THOUSAND
THISTLES AND THORNS THROUGH THE UNDERNEATH OF HIS THIGH THAT THE THIRTY YEAR
OLD THUG THOUGHT OF THAT MORNING.
5) ALL I WANT IS A PROPER CUP OF COFFEE, MADE
IN A PROPER COPPER COFFEE POT. I MAY BE OFF MY DOT, BUT I WANT A CUP OF COFFEE
FROM A PROPER COFFEE POT. TIN COFFEE POTS AND IRON COFFEE POTS. THEY´RE NO USE
TO ME, IF I CAN´T HAVE A PROPER CUP OF COFFEE IN A PROPER COPPER COFFEE POT
I´LL HAVE A CUP OF TEA.
6) COLLIDING, COLT RIDING COWBOYS, COMBINING
COLLIDING WHILE GLIDING AT NIGHT COINCIDING IN THEIR FIGHT. IT WASN´T QUITE
TRITE EVEN WITH SLIGHT SIGHT, WHO WAS RIGHT? THE FIGHT LIKE LIGHT, FLASHED
BRIGHT, FAST AS BEARS BITE FLIES FLYING NEAR THE BEARS EYES THE FLEEING FLIES
DIE.
7) THE SADNESS OF HER SADNESS WHEN SHE´S SAD.
THE GLADNESS OF HER GLADNESS WHEN SHE´S GLAD. BUT THE SADNESS OF HER SADNESS,
AND THE GLADNESS, ARE NOTHING LIKE HER MADNESS WHEN SHE´S MAD!
8) THEDA THOUGHT THORA WAS THUMPING HER
THIMBLE. BUT THOMAS THOUGHT THORA WAS THUMPING HER DRUM, SAID THEDA. IF THORA´S
NOT THUMPING HER THIMBLE, I THINK THAT SHE SURELY IS THUMPING HER THUMB.
9) GIVE ME THE GIFT OF A GRIP-TOP SOCK. A CLIP
DRAPE SHIPSHAPE TIP TOP SOCK. NOT YOUR SPINSLICK SLAPSTICK SLIPSHOD STOCK, BUT
A PLASTIC, ELASTIC GRIP-TOP SOCK. NONE OF YOUR FANTASTIC SLACK SWAP SLOP FROM A
SLAP DASH FLASH CASH HABERDASH SHOP. NOT A KNICK KNACK KNITLOCK KNOCKNEED
KNICKERBOCKER SOCK WITH A MOCK-SHOT BLOB-MOTTLED TRICK-TICKER TOP CLOCK. NOT A
SUPERSHEET SEERSUCKER RUCKSACK SOCK, NOT A SPOT-SPECKLED FROG-FRECKLED CHEAP
SHEIK´S SOCK OFF A HODGEPODGE MOSS-BLOTCHED SCOTCH-BOTCHED BLOCK. NOTHING
SLIPSHOD DRIP DROP FLIP FLOP OR GLIP GLOP TIP ME TO A TIP TOP GRIP TOP SOCK.
10) EVERYBODY´S HEARD OF PETER PIPER AND THE
PECK OF PICKED PEPPERS THAT HE PICKED THAT´S SUCH A SILLY SIMPLE CHILDREN´S
GAME IT HASN´T EVEN GOT A NAME. BUT I´D LIKE TO BET THAT IT´LL TRIP YOU, AND I
BET YOU´RE GONNA HAVE TO SAY YOU´RE LICKED IF PETER PIPER YOU PRONOUNCE WITH
EASE. THEN TWIST YOUR TONGUE AROUND THESE.
